- Bernard Meyer moved abroad in 2009 when the stock market crashed and ended up in Vilnius, Lithuania.
- Meyer decided to stay in Lithuania because of its sense of calm and stability.
- In Vilnius, Meyer has a great work-life balance and is able to disconnect in nature.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Bernard Meyer, a 39-year-old living in Vilnius, Lithuania. His job and identity have been verified by Business Insider. It's been edited for length and clarity.
I first moved to Miami from Cape Town, South Africa, when I was 13 years old.
I grew up in the US and expected to spend my life there. But when I graduated from college around 2009, the market collapsed and I decided to take a job teaching English in Mongolia while I figured out my career.
I always thought I would return to the US when the economy picked up. But when I visited my brother, who was staying in Lithuania at the time, I met my future wife. I took another contract teaching job in Taiwan temporarily and then ended up returning to Lithuania.
Now, 12 years later, I'm working as a senior director of communications at Omniscend and I'm raising my two daughters here. I've thought about returning to the US a few times — but ultimately, I decided to stay in Vilnius. Here's why.
The work-life balance is great
I wasn't sure about what kind of career I wanted when I first moved to Vilnius — but I was sure I had no big plans.
Living outside the US gave me a sense of mental freedom. Living abroad helped minimize my thoughts about what everyone else was doing, which gave me a stronger sense of what I wanted to do in life.
The work-life balance is also great. At my company, and in Lithuania in general, people respect the fact that you need to be present at home and take vacations. When employees request vacation here, I always approve it, and I don't bother them when they're off.
Life feels more stable here
Stability was one of the main reasons I decided to stay in Lithuania. When I first considered going back to the US after my contract in Taiwan, the US had started to experience some of the school shootings that have since increased.
For the most part, I find there's a sense of calm here, and it's a relaxing place.
I've also a deep appreciation for nature. In Lithuania, it's common to own more than one house, and it's not expensive. When I go to my summerhouse, I remove myself from all the tech gadgets that I use at work or home, and just focus on landscaping or woodworking projects. I'm able to be fully present in my surroundings.
Some things I'll never get used to
In Vilnius, there's a central location where people walk, people watch, sit at cafes, and drink coffee. I'm not used to sitting and doing nothing. In the past, I would go to the movies, go clubbing, or go to some other destination. But here, people just chill.
One thing I can't understand is taking a walk without a purpose. My wife likes to walk just to walk, and I can't understand it conceptually. I need a purpose and a destination.
I'm not sure if I'll stay here forever. The US offers great college education and there's a strong sense of ambition, which I would want my kids to experience when they're older. But other aspects of living in the US, like the political situation and cost of healthcare, make me want to stay here.